We tend to get out of life what we believe we deserve, whether we realize it or not.

It's pretty astonishing the things we will accept for ourselves when we are living in survival mode and don't believe we deserve better. I highly recommend seeking professional counselling, support groups, and reading self-help and personal development books to uncover and work through your self-esteem and limiting beliefs.

You'd be surprised about where you actually land on the self-esteem ladder when you really begin to get into the nitty gritty details of your internalized beliefs; I know I was!

Once you've done that things start to make more sense and other mindset shifts become more achievable.

In order to break out of survival mode, I believe it's absolutely necessary to dig into the thoughts and patterns that keep us stuck there and work to shift them.

Here are some mindset shifts that can help you transition from survival mode to a thriving and successful life:

1. Abundance Mentality: Shift from a scarcity mindset, where you believe there's not enough to go around, to an abundance mindset, where you believe there are plenty of opportunities and resources available to you. This mindset shift can open you up to more possibilities and attract positive experiences into your life.

2. Embrace Failure as Growth: Instead of fearing failure, view it as a necessary part of the learning process. Understand that setbacks and mistakes provide valuable lessons that can help you grow and improve. Adopting a growth mindset allows you to approach challenges with resilience and optimism.

3. Practice Gratitude: Cultivate a habit of gratitude by regularly reflecting on the things you're thankful for in your life, no matter how small. Focusing on the positive aspects of your life can shift your perspective and improve your overall well-being.

4. Take Ownership of Your Life: Stop defining yourself by your struggles and take responsibility for your circumstances. Recognize that you have the power to change your life by making proactive choices and taking decisive action. Empower yourself to create the life you desire.

5. Embrace Uncertainty: Instead of fearing the unknown, embrace uncertainty as an inevitable part of life. Understand that growth and progress often require stepping out of your comfort zone and taking calculated risks. Embracing uncertainty can lead to new opportunities and personal growth.

6. Focus on Solutions, Not Problems: Shift your focus from dwelling on problems to seeking solutions. Instead of getting overwhelmed by challenges, approach them with a problem-solving mindset. Look for opportunities to address obstacles creatively and find constructive ways to move forward.

7. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself and treat yourself with the same compassion and understanding that you would offer to a friend. Acknowledge your strengths and accomplishments, and be gentle with yourself during times of difficulty or setbacks.

8. Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection: Shift your focus from striving for perfection to celebrating progress and incremental improvements. Recognize that success is not linear and that every step forward, no matter how small, brings you closer to your goals.

By adopting these mindset shifts, you can empower yourself to break free from survival mode and create a life filled with abundance, growth, and fulfillment.

Doing more things that bring joy into your life is another essential step to moving out of survival mode and creating a life worth living.

Even seemingly small things, like really enjoying a good cup of coffee and some fresh air and sunshine. Mindfulness is key here, especially if you've lived your life in a state of survival mode. Start by noticing the things that make you feel calm and at peace, and do more of those things.

Keeping a gratitude journal is a good way of helping you identify the things that make you feel happy and blessed.

Then, when you've established a habit of cultivating more peace in your life you can begin to add more excitement or creativity to your routine.

This serves two purposes,

1) to raise your vibration and invite more positivity into your life, in turn making you feel happier and more optimistic and

2) to rediscover yourself and help you realize what you really want more of so that you have a clearer idea of what life beyond survival might look like for you.

For me, this meant being outside more, kayaking, exploring with my son, writing and reconnecting with my creative side that had gotten buried under the weight of other people's expectations of me and the general state of fight-or-flight I had been in for so many years.

By making joy an intentional priority in my life, I found my way back onto a path that I believe is leading to a far more authentic vision of what I want my life to be. This makes staying motivated and pushing through the rough times feel more purposeful.

That leads me to my next advice...

It's hard to see a way forward when you have lived in survival mode for so long.

Often it can be hard to think of anything beyond making it through the next month or even just the next day. But the only way to break that cycle is to zoom out from the day to day, and try to connect with the part of you that wants more than that.

Try to imagine a life in which you weren't struggling, (as hard as that may sound)-

What would that life look like? What would you be doing if you could do anything you truly wanted? How would you feel?

Try to visualize that and identify what you really want beyond just surviving.

Now write it out or create yourself a vision board to help you bring that energy out of your subconscious and into real life. By doing this you're setting your intention for the energy you want to create in your life.

Once you've put your vision into the physical world make sure that you are looking at that regularly to remind yourself of the bigger picture of what you're doing it all for. Then start coming up with ideas for how you could get there.

Write out a rough plan but don't get too hung up on the details because as we know, life happens and often we are not in full control of that, but with a better idea of what you want in life and a general game plan mapped out, it is so much easier to get back on track if you do happen to get derailed along the way.

If nothing else, just try to do even one small thing each day that will move you in the right direction; one thing that your future self will thank you for.

Those small things build up incrementally until suddenly you look back and realize that you have actually made much more progress than you thought you had.

If you don't have an idea of where you're going, how can you ever get there? Without a vision you just end up stuck in survival mode flying by the seat of your pants with no end in sight.

Your vision is the light at the end of the tunnel. Without it, it's like you're stumbling your way through a mineshaft without a flashlight.

I could talk about this forever but I'll leave that for another day.

It boils down to a lot of self-care and learning to love yourself enough to give yourself everything you might not have gotten, emotionally and physically, growing up or even in your adult relationships. Learning to take responsibility for your own happiness.

You deserve to be cared for. It's about rewiring your brain to think of yourself in the same way that you think of everyone else's needs and wellbeing; you MUST give that to yourself first.

It's not selfish, it's essential.

Give yourself the compassion and understanding that you would give someone you love if they were struggling or going through the same challenges you've gone through.

Be gentle with yourself, healing takes time.